Harry Potter and the Post Partum Depression
by Izza
Summary: Harry and Draco have been blessed with a son, but things seem to go terribly wrong. Will Harry be able to cope with post partum depression? Mpreg, slash...
1. Chapter 1

Harry & Draco: The Real Story

Disclaimer: I still own nothing.

Harry lay on the couch, trying to ignore the incessant crying of the infant in its' cradle. He did not know how long he had been lying there, and only after the child's wails became impossible to pretend it wasn't his child screaming did he force himself up. Bleary eyed, he mechanically picked up his squalling son and automatically began to soothe him.

The house was littered with dirty laundry and empty dishes. Harry could not find the energy to cook or even to magic something up, and had been relying on take out to keep himself and Draco fed. Harry didn't want to leave the house, and kept putting things off. Now there was a gas notice on the table. The money was there to pay it, but Harry couldn't bring himself to do it.

Patting the baby on the back, he walked back and forth across the small room in a daze. How long had it been since he'd had more than a few hours sleep? His life had condensed to this house, this whining child. He was tired, more tired than he had ever been in his life. As clutter piled up around him, he simply stepped over it, or kicked it into a corner. The diaper pail was full and he had to sanitize the bottles again.

Harry went to the kitchen and ran warm water over a bottle. Little Severus, named for his godfather, began to scream again. Balancing the child on his left arm, he silently prayed for Draco to come home, for someone to visit, just so he could give Severus to someone else for an hour. After what seemed like days to him, the formula was warm and he went back to the living room and sat down on a pile of laundry in the rocking chair. Severus drank his bottle greedily, and Harry let his mind wander.

He was still sitting there, Severus having gone to sleep in his father's arms, when Draco came home. He was tired, hungry, and walking into the disaster of their apartment set his teeth on edge. He saw Harry sitting, the lights out, with the baby.

"Is that what you did all day?" he asked, a bitter note in his voice, flicking on the switch. "Would it kill you to pick up around here?"

Harry looked at him with dull eyes. Then he shrugged and went back to staring at the wall. Draco threw his jacket on the pile in the hall and made his way to the kitchen.

"Harry? There's nothing on for dinner," he called. "What are you making?"

"I don't know. What did you want?" Harry asked, forcing himself out of the chair. He put Severus back in his bassinet and went into the kitchen. Draco was looking through the empty cupboards.

"I would have liked fish and chips, but we don't have it. When was the last time you went shopping?" he asked, his voice tight.

"Last week, no, the week before." Harry replied, opening the fridge. He pulled out a half wilted head of lettuce and a cucumber. "I'll make you a salad, I guess."

Draco slammed the cupboard door shut. "I don't want salad! What kind of meal is that?"

Severus woke up, startled by his father's voice. Harry put down the knife in his hand and went to pick the child up. Draco followed him, and his eyes fell on the gas notice. Reading it quickly, his face flushed.

"Did you pay this?" he asked Harry. Harry shook his head and continued to croon softly to the baby.

"It says they're going to shut the gas off, Harry. Did you notice it was winter out there?"

Harry said nothing, but tears began to well in his eyes.

"Oh, don't cry!" Draco said, exasperated. "That's all you ever do anymore! I can't even talk to you. What's wrong with you, Harry?"

Harry shook his head, not being able to speak. Severus felt his father's confusion and began to wail harder. As Harry walked back and forth, the child crying, Draco felt his anger rising.

"Fine!" he snapped, heading upstairs to the bathroom. "I'm going to take a shower. I guess it's too much to expect that I have clean clothes somewhere?" he asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Harry watched him go through blurred eyes. Draco didn't understand, no one did. Harry felt trapped, trapped by this small person who made constant demands on him. He didn't understand himself what was wrong, how could he explain it to Draco? He had dreamed of being an Auror, now he was tied to this place, this child. He had been falling, day by day, into an ever smaller circle where all that mattered was that Severus was taken care of. Even doing magic was too much work. Harry himself had not showered in over a week. His hair was matted and he had worn the same track pants for five days. He couldn't be bothered to change, to get cleaned up. It just didn't seem to matter anymore. His scar from the Cesarean section still hurt. All he wanted to do was sleep. Sleep let you be alive but unconscious, and that was what Harry wanted.

In the beginning Draco had been more helpful. But as the novelty of having a new baby wore off, Draco began to resent the changes in Harry. When he wanted to make love, Harry would roll over and sigh, that terrible sigh that told Draco he didn't care what he did. In fact, Harry had begun to look at it as another chore, something else he didn't have the energy or inclination to do.

Severus calmed down and Harry kicked some clutter out of the way in the kitchen, flinging the baby's blanket onto the floor. He put Severus down with some toys and trance like went back to preparing dinner. Paying more attention to the child than what he was doing, he managed to slice his hand with the knife. Sighing, he wrapped it up in a towel and held his hand up, waiting for the bleeding to stop. With his other hand he rummaged about the kitchen drawer until he found his wand. It had been a few days since he'd used it. He had to think hard about the spell he wanted. After a moment his brow unfurrowed, and the waved the wand. The knife began to finish his work.

Draco came out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. He couldn't find his robe in the piles of clothes in the bedroom. Sighing, he pulled on an old pair of jeans. Going downstairs, he went into the kitchen and found Harry still holding his hand up.

"Now what have you done?" he asked, feeling frustrated. This was not his Harry. His Harry was gentle and considerate, not this robot that went through his life in a fog.

"The knife slipped." Harry said simply.

"Oh, shit," Draco said, unwrapping the towel. He looked at the cut and turned on the tap. Rinsing off the blood, he re-wrapped it and went rummaging through cupboards, looking for the remedy he needed. Once he found it, he treated the injury, and seeing the dull pain in Harry's eyes, kissed the hand gently. Harry felt overwhelmed by this tenderness, and broke down. Hot tears slipped down his cheeks, and he hid his face in his hands. Draco wrapped his arms around him, and let him cry.

"Harry, Harry," he murmured softly. "You have to tell me what's wrong? Are you sick?"

"No!" Harry choked out. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I have you and Severus, and I should be happy, but I'm not. And I don't know why."

"You need to do more, Harry," Draco said gently, water beads dripping from his white blond hair on to Harry's dark head. "You need to snap out of this. It's not good for you or Severus."

"I'll try," Harry told him, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

It had been two weeks since Harry had sliced his hand. Two frustrating weeks for both him and Draco. Wee Severus seemed more fussy than ever and Harry was worn out. He had tried, for Draco's sake to look after himself, if not the house, but he found it so easy to keep sitting in his chair, even when Severus was asleep and he had no excuse.

He had forced himself to cook dinner one night, even feeding the baby early, so that he and Draco would have a chance to talk. Draco was appreciative of Harry's efforts, but when Severus woke up, Harry ran to him, leaving his fuming partner to finish his meal alone.

Draco suggested to Harry that he might want to start going to the gym. Exercise might make him feel better, Draco had said. His attempt at helping sent Harry into a rage.

"So now I'm fat, is that it?" Harry said bitterly. "You try having a baby, Draco, and see how great you look."

"I didn't mean it that way," Draco said apologetically. "I just thought you might like to get out for a bit. I can watch the baby while you go."

"I am not going to spend all day looking after our child and then go to the gym. I'm just too tired at the end of the day." Harry said, his eyes flashing.

"I'm sorry," Draco said. "I didn't think of that. There's a moms and tots program at the gym, you could take Severus with you to that."

"Oh, great, now you want me to exercise with the baby. I'll tell you what's wrong, Draco. This place is getting to me, the walls are closing in. It's always a mess, I don't know where to start. And you haven't been all that considerate of me lately." Harry began to take deep breathes to try and stop the tears that threatened.

"If you need help, I'll help." Draco said, looking at his partner worriedly. "I don't know what you want me to do, though."

Harry exploded in anger. "You can start by picking up after yourself! Were you raised in a barn? Or is it the lack of house elves here? You are spoiled rotten, Draco Malfoy, and I am tired of having to do everything!"

Draco was stunned. Of course he missed having house elves around! Of course he didn't like living in this house, but it was Harry's. Once his father had found out about Harry and the baby, Draco had been disowned. He could go back if he renounced Harry and Severus, but deep in his heart, Draco knew he couldn't do that.

Frustrated, angry, Draco watched Harry run upstairs and heard the bedroom door slam. He heard the loud sobs coming from Harry, and turned around to look at the mess. If only Harry weren't so stubborn about house elves. He sighed, and got his wand. Slowly, he began to clean up.

When Harry came out of the bedroom, Draco was working to get the kitchen tidied, although the dishes were giving him a hard time. Severus was playing happily in his swing. In the living room, the piles of laundry were sorted into baskets, and clean clothes folded on the couch and the dust was gone.

"Feeling better?" Draco asked, as he put the kettle on the burner. "I'll make you a cup of tea."

Harry nodded, but Draco was frightened by the blank look in his eyes. He quietly made the tea and they sat down at the tiny table together.

"You were right, Harry." Draco began. "I haven't been pulling my weight around here. But I'm just so tired when I get home. All I want is to eat and play with Severus and cuddle up with you. I didn't think that was too much to ask."

Harry looked at him, his green eyes bewildered. "It really isn't. I don't know what's wrong with me, Draco. I have what I wanted, but some days it seems like too much, if you know what I mean." Draco nodded sympathetically and Harry went on.

"I do love you and the baby. I want to do what's best for all of us. But I'm exhausted, and I just don't have any ambition right now beyond what Severus needs. Can you understand that?"

Draco placed a hand lovingly on Harry's arm. "Of course I can," he said. "And you were right, I am spoiled." He sighed. "Maybe it's time to think about getting a house elf or two."

Harry gave a rueful laugh. "Yes, that would solve all our problems. But after the Kreacher disaster, I really don't want one at all. In fact, all I want is a big box of sleep."

"You go to bed then," Draco said, patting his arm. "I'll get Severus to sleep."

Harry gave him a grateful kiss on the forehead and went up to their bedroom. Draco watched him go, and sat drinking his tea and watching Severus who was still swinging. Seeing his father looking at him, the baby began to fuss. Draco put down his tea and picked up the child. Carrying him into the living room, he sat in the rocking chair and began to hum to his son. Draco loved Severus, and had promised himself that he would give this baby all the love that his father had neglected to give him. Love he hadn't realized he'd missed until he'd met Harry.

Draco was more worried about Harry than he'd said. He had no one to discuss the problem with. The Weasley's might have helped, but they had cut all ties with Harry when they had discovered his love for Draco. As he rocked his son, Draco decided that if Harry continued to fall apart he would send an owl to Severus Snape.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

In the dark Draco rolled over, his white blond hair falling in his eyes. It tickled his nose, and he half woke to push it away. As he did, he realized that Harry was wide awake beside him.

"Harry," he whispered, rolling all the way over to face Harry's back. He ran a gentle hand over his partner's shoulder. Harry tensed immediately.

"Are you alright?" Draco asked, caressing Harry's back. Harry mumbled something unintelligible. Draco continued rubbing his back, placing small kisses on his shoulder.

"Not now, Draco. Please." Harry told him, his voice cold. "I'm just not feeling it tonight."

Draco sat up. Harry lay in a small ball, rolled up, away from Draco. Every line in his posture told Draco that Harry was miserable. But Draco was tired of it all. Every gesture he made, everything he tried, nothing seemed to work. Harry was a bundle of sadness and anger.

"You haven't felt it in a long time," Draco spat. "I don't know what I'm doing here anymore. You don't want me around, you've made that plain enough." He stood up and pulled the blanket from the bed wrapping it around himself. "If you remember why we're together in the first place, I'll be down the hall."

"Fine!" Harry snapped back. "Just don't wake up the baby on the way out."

Draco stopped on his way to the bedroom door. "Out," he said. "If that's what you want, you've got it." He made his way back to the bed in the dark and began pulling on his clothes.

Harry rolled over to look at him. "What are you doing?" he asked. Draco could hear Harry's ragged breathing.

"Oh, don't start again, Harry. I don't care. I'm sick of trying to hold everything together. You don't want me here, you don't want me gone. Nothing I do is good enough." Draco was angry. His pride was hurt. It was bad enough that Harry's moods changed like the weather, but to be rejected in his own bed was more than he could bear.

"I don't know why I ever took up with you! I gave up everything I had for you, and now it's 'go away, Draco' or 'I'm sad,' or 'I'm tired'. Well, I'm tired too. Tired of trying to figure out what you want."

"Draco..." Harry began, but the sound of tears in his voice sent Draco over the edge.

"Go ahead, cry! I'm sick of it all, do you hear me! Get yourself together. Look at yourself, you cry at the drop of a hat, you whine that you're tired, you won't do anything! When was the last time you shaved? I'll tell you, it was four days ago, and that's only because you were too rough to cuddle Sevy."

"You don't understand..." Harry tried again, but Draco was too far gone in his rage to hear him.

"And that's another thing, what don't I understand? You're always falling back on that. Shit, Harry, you had a baby. What the hell did it do to you? Lots of people have babies every day, and you don't see them going to pieces like this." Draco was now pacing back and forth.

"It's not easy on me, either. But you don't hear me going on about it. Nothing I do is right. I just keep on trying. But that doesn't seem to be good enough for you! No, you have to go on about how hard it is!"

Harry was getting angry at Draco's attack. He sat up and faced his lover. "Oh, it's easy, is it? Why do I have to be the one to stay home? Why don't you do it? You get to go out every day, you get to talk to adults, you have a life. I have nothing! Nothing!" he screamed. "You took my life when you got me pregnant! This is your fault, Draco Malfoy." His screams woke the baby, and he pulled himself out of the bed, wrapping his robe around him. He went down the hall to the nursery, Draco following him. He went to the crib and picked Severus up. Then he turned and faced Draco, who's face was livid with anger.

"My life got put on hold, not yours! And if you can't deal with it, then get the hell out. There are times I hate you, Malfoy, and this is one of them! Go on, get out! We don't need you!" Harry swept past Draco, his son in his arms.

Draco stood, stunned. What had just happened? Harry had turned on him? He slowly sat down on the rocking chair by the crib and put his hands on his knees. He took deep breaths and tried to figure out what to do next. Should he go? That would teach Harry a lesson. Should he try to make it up to him? Unconsciously he began to bang his fist into his palm. What the hell had happened to his life?

In the kitchen Harry was banging doors while getting Severus a bottle. How dare that jumped up pureblood make this out to be his fault! Draco was the one who started all the fights! And made Harry's life miserable in between. He just didn't get it. Harry had explained till he was exhausted, but it didn't matter. Draco kept piling demands on him. And if Draco thought sex would fix everything, well, he'd just find out that he wouldn't be getting any this side of Christmas.

Harry's thoughts were in turmoil as he settled down with Severus. That remark about him always crying had really hurt. If Draco only knew how many nights he'd lain there, chest heaving, trying not to cry, afraid to wake him!

He heard Draco coming out of the bedroom and downstairs. He shifted position, to hold Sevy more comfortably when the baby began to choke. He swiftly sat the baby up, holding his tiny arms over his head. Draco rushed into the room, furious, and snatched the child away from him.

"Shit, Harry, what are you doing?" he yelled. He put his son over his shoulder and began to pat his back. Harry jumped up out of his chair.

"Give him back to me, Draco!" he hissed.

"He was choking, and you were just sitting there!" Draco spat back.

"Don't you tell me how to look after my own child!" Harry said, his voice low and furious. "I'm the one who's with him all the time."

"I know." Draco said, "I hear it all the time. Go to bed, Harry. I'll look after the baby. Go on. You're always so tired, you should enjoy the rest." Harry heard the sneer in Draco's voice, the same sneer from their first year at Hogwarts. He looked at his partner and turned and ran into the bedroom.

Draco held his son close. "That's it, little man," he told him gently. "In the morning, I'm sending for your godfather."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Snape read the letter the owl had delivered with rising concern. Draco was not one to overreact, but it sounded like Harry was having real problems. He read the letter carefully once again.

Harry's pregnancy had been a shock to Severus Snape, but Draco and Harry had been overjoyed. Finding themselves ostracized, they had turned to him, and he had given all the support to the young couple that he'd been able to. In gratitude, they'd made him godfather to his young namesake.

He called to his house elf, Scritchy, and had him pack his belongings into a satchel. He also wrote a quick note and sent it by owl. Hopefully, the answer would come soon. Then, gathering up a few potions he thought he might need, not knowing the state of the Potter-Malfoy kitchen, he snatched up his bag and apparated to the house.

Harry answered the door on the fourth knock. Snape was startled by the change in the young man. His once crisp black hair fell in greasy strands about his face and he had a few days growth of beard. But it was the eyes that frightened Snape most. Harry's eyes had always been bright and snapping with life. Now the regarded him with no interest whatsoever. They were flat, defeated.

"Hello, Severus," Harry said blankly.

"Hello, Harry. Are you going to invite me in?" Snape asked, looking deeply into Harry's face.

"Sure," Harry replied, opening the door wide enough to admit his visitor.

Snape strode through the house to the playpen where his godson waited. Reaching down he tickled the baby and lifted him up above his head.

"And how are you, young man?" he asked, wiggling the baby. Small Sevy giggled and waved his hands about. Snape settled the baby comfortably in the crook of his arm and turned back to face Harry.

"Well, Harry, how are you feeling these days?" Snape asked, looking at Harry carefully.

"Fine, Severus," Harry replied automatically. "What brings you by?"

"Oh, I just wanted to see how you were doing", the older man replied. "How's Draco?"

"You know Draco, he's just perfect," Harry said sarcastically.

Snape put the baby back into the playpen and sat beside Harry. He looked at his young friend with sympathy.

"Harry, sometimes having a baby can put an extra strain on a relationship. You're tired and Draco's having to make some big adjustments in his life. You are the first person he's ever truly loved, and now he has to share you with little Severus. It's hard for him."

Harry snorted. "He should have thought about that when he got me pregnant! I mean, what am I supposed to do, put the baby down every time he walks in the door? I didn't have any love as a child either, Severus, so don't put all this on me!"

Snape turned away from Harry for a moment. Then he faced him again. "Harry, have you been sleeping?"

Harry stared at him. "I have a baby! I don't sleep!" His eyes narrowed and he started to laugh. It wasn't a good laugh, it was bitter and full of pain.

"Draco told you I was crazy, didn't he?" he asked. "That's what all this is about! There's nothing wrong with me, Snape. I'm tired, I've been cranky, there doesn't seem to be enough time to get everything done, and all Draco wants to do is complain! I'm not affectionate enough, the house is never clean, I can't cook! If you need to talk to someone, talk to him!"

Severus nodded. "I understand, Harry. Really I do. You have a lot to deal with. And Draco can be, well, insensitive sometimes."

Harry turned and stared at his former teacher. "Don't talk about him that way! He's good to me and Sevy. It's just that, well, oh, hell, I don't know." He stopped, startled by a bang from the kitchen. Sevy started crying and Harry rushed to pick him up and soothe him. With the baby in his arms he went into the kitchen.

"Harry, I have to tell you, Draco did write to me. I made a few arrangements..." he broke off, blocked from the kitchen by Harry's body in the doorway.

"You did not bring house-elves into my house!" he screamed, turning to face Snape. "I will NOT have house-elves!"

"Hello, Harry Potter," came Dobby's voice from the kitchen. "Winky and I have been hired by Professor Snape, sir. We have come to help Harry Potter."

"Get them out!" Harry snarled at Snape through gritted teeth. "I will not do this."

"And Winky is very good with children, Harry Potter. Winky will look after your baby, sir." Dobby continued, oblivious to the anger in Harry's voice.

"Take them and get out of my house!" Harry yelled, stalking off. Sevy screamed again, and Harry took him upstairs to his bedroom.

"Harry Potter is not happy with us?" Dobby asked Snape. Snape looked after Harry with understanding in his eyes.

"Harry is not happy with many things right now, Dobby. I will talk to him. You and Winky understand what I want you to do?"

"Yes, Professor Snape. Dobby and Winky will be so quiet that Harry Potter will not realize we are even here." Winky, standing behind Dobby nodded in agreement.

"Yes, we is to be proper house-elves once again," she said. The change seemed to agree with her, although she looked down at her gingham dress with disdain. "Winky will begin to prepare dinner, sir, and Dobby can begin the other chores." She continued to mutter to herself as she opened cupboards and drawers silently. Dobby disappeared and Snape nodded to himself. He heard the front door bang and went back out of the kitchen to meet Draco.

"Severus, it's wonderful to see you!" Draco exclaimed. "Where's Harry?"

"Upstairs." Snape said quietly. "Come with me, we need to talk."

Draco hung his coat up and followed Snape into the living room. To his surprise, a tray of tea and sandwiches sat on one of the side tables. He sat down and poured tea for Severus and himself. Picking up a sandwich he bit into it hungrily.

"Sorry," he mumbled through crumbs, "I missed lunch today."

"Not at all, Draco," Snape told him, sipping on his tea. "I must confess, Harry is not happy with either of us right now."

"What's wrong with him, Severus? Is he going crazy? I've tried everything, but all he does is cry or yell at me. I can't do anything right with him." He took a sip of tea and then realized where it had come from. "He agreed to house-elves? How did you do it?"

"No, he is adamant that I take them with me. But I'm not going to. They have their instructions, and once Harry gets some rest, he should calm down. Dobby and Winky will be as unobtrusive as possible."

Draco looked at Severus over the rim of his cup. "This feels like lying, Severus. Harry is going to notice that the house is cleaning itself."

Severus gave Draco a rare smile. "Distract him." Draco looked at him uncomfortably. "Will that be a problem?"

Draco shifted in his seat. "To be honest, Severus, it doesn't matter what I do, he's just not interested." He put down his cup and pushed his light hair back from his forehead. "I wonder if he'll ever go back to being himself."

Snape reached across to pat the young man on the leg. "Don't worry, Draco. Harry will be alright. I'm almost positive he's suffering from post-partum depression."

Draco stared at him. "He's what?"

"It happens after someone has given birth. No one is quite sure what causes it, most likely the stress of having a baby, hormones, the lack of sleep. It can be controlled, though," he finished quickly as Draco's face took on a look of horror.

"He'll be like this forever?" Draco asked, his face pale.

"Oh, no, it'll will end eventually. But it will be up to you to look after both Harry and the baby. First we'll work on getting Harry some sleep. That should help. And there are certain potions that can help." He sighed. "The hardest part will be explaining what's going on to Harry. You may be in for some rough times in the next little while, Draco."

"If it will help Harry, I'll do anything," Draco told him, a tender look in his eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Harry woke to the smell of bacon. Rolling over he blinked at the sunlight streaming in through the windows. With a start, he realized that he had slept the night through. Draco's side of the bed was empty, and there was no sound of a screaming baby. Remembering his petulance of the night before, he assumed that at last Draco had understood.

Feeling more energetic than he had in quite a while, he made his way to the bathroom. After a careful shave and shower, he dressed in the clean clothes he found in his drawer. Draco must have worked half the night, he thought tenderly. He'd even tidied the dresser top. Harry smiled to himself, and splashed on a bit of Draco's favorite cologne.

In the kitchen, he found Draco alone. The table was set for two, and his blond lover was pouring tea.

"You look well, Harry. Feeling any better?" Draco asked, placing a full cup in front of Harry. Harry sat down, and took a sip, then looked around the kitchen.

"Where's Sevvy?" he asked, instantly alarmed. Draco sighed to himself, _it was always the baby first_, he thought.

"He's out with his godfather." Draco said calmly, bracing himself for the storm Harry was sure to erupt with.

"He's out? Without me? Where?" Harry demanded, not noticing that Draco was serving him breakfast.

"Don't, Harry. It's okay. Severus took him to the park for a walk. It gives us a chance to talk. Drink your tea, you'll feel better." Draco choked back the fact that the tea had been "flavoured" with a calming draught.

To his surprise, Harry did take a long drink from his cup. "Not bad," he said, swirling the liquid left in the cup. "Did you do all this for me?" he asked, drinking down the rest. Draco quickly refilled the cup.

"Of course," Draco told him, hating the lie. The house elves had cleaned everything they could find and then prepared a sumptuous breakfast. Then they had disappeared. "Severus and I had a long talk last night, and I couldn't sleep." At least that much had been true.

Harry realized that he was hungry and tucked into his breakfast. Draco watched him for a few moments, then started in on his eggs. Harry stopped eating after a few bites and smiled at his lover. Draco drew in his breath in audible wonder.

"What is it?" Harry asked him, puzzled.

"Great Merlin, Harry, you are so beautiful when you smile." Draco told him. Harry felt his chest contract with something like awe. Tears filled the corners of his eyes.

"Don't start, now," Draco said, tenderly. He took his napkin and wiped the tears away from Harry's cheek. Harry leaned into his touch, and Draco dropped the napkin. Overjoyed at this first sign of acceptance from the dark haired man he loved, Draco gently caressed Harry's cheek. They exchanged a long and loving look, then Draco carefully took his hand back. Clearing his throat, he returned to his meal, remembering Severus' words of the night before.

"Don't be surprised if he isn't interested in any physical relations right now," his former teacher had told him. "It's going to take some work for him to recover from this. Just be as patient and supportive as you can."

"Is something wrong?" Harry asked him, slightly put out that Draco had pulled away.

"No, no," Draco replied quickly. "I just don't want all the hard work that went into this food to go to waste." _Or to be rejected by you again,_ he thought.

Harry smiled again, and took a bite of toast. "It is good," he mumbled. Swallowing, he continued, "I don't think you've made me breakfast since that morning..." Suddenly, he stopped, realizing that the morning he was referring to was the day after Lucius had found out about them.

"Sorry, I didn't mean..." he began, but Draco waved a hand at him. The last thing he wanted was Harry to start blaming himself as he had on that night, when Draco had appeared at his door, bleeding, dazed, and soaked from the rain.

"It's okay, Harry. We knew it would come one day. Don't dwell on the past, that's my motto. Right?" He winked at Harry, and was surprised and pleased to see Harry wink back.

They ate in silence, Draco finishing quickly and pouring Harry yet another cup of tea. He hated himself for not blurting out the truth. He wanted to be open and honest with his lover, for Harry was the one person who had been able to see beyond the facade Draco put on for others, to scared and damaged man beneath. To continue with the plans Severus had insisted on felt like lying, and the one thing Draco always wanted to be was honest with Harry. Harry had accepted the real Draco without question, realizing that Draco had acted as he had due to his parents abuse. It was only when Harry told him that he loved the man Draco had become that he had felt himself healing. Draco would do nothing to jeopardize their relationship, needing Harry's love and acceptance, but he just did not know what else to do. Harry broke into his reverie.

"When will Severus be back?" he asked, finishing his tea, and taking the dishes to the sink. Draco was terrified one of the house elves would show up and start washing. But Harry was looking through the kitchen drawer for his wand.

"Not for a while." Draco told him, as Harry began to clean up. "He was complaining that we never let him fulfil his duties as godfather."

Harry actually managed a chuckle at that. "Sirius' duties included hiding in a cave disguised as a giant dog. I hope Severus doesn't have anything like that in mind."

Draco laughed louder than he expected. It was almost like having Harry back again. He took his plate to the sink, and gently, almost as if he were frightened, he ran a hand over Harry's shoulder. Instead of the flinching he'd become accustomed to, Harry actually seemed to enjoy his touch. Instantly, Draco felt desire for Harry overwhelm him. He stepped back suddenly.

"What is it, love?" Harry asked, the endearment falling easily from his lips. He reached up and stroked the strand of hair that fell behind Draco's ear, his touch exquisite against the blond's skin.

"Nothing, nothing, I just remembered that I wanted to, to," he stopped, staring in amazement. Harry's eyes had darkened with desire and the look he gave his lover made Draco go weak at the knees. _What was in that tea?_ he asked himself.


End file.
